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What is narcissism? What is narcissistic personality disorder? What is a narcissist? If you are unfortunate enough to have been caught in a relationship with a self-involved person; with somebody who spends most of their time thinking only of themselves; concerned only with what they look like, what they have, the amount of money they have, their own needs, not worried about others; it is likely you already have an idea about the answer to this question. There are narcissistic mothers, narcissistic lovers, narcissistic co-workers, even a narcissism epidemic if you look at our lives together on this planet, we are becoming more and more self-involved.

I suspect you knew that already. The real question is, what do you do if you are caught in a relationship with a narcissist, or you have to work with one, or perhaps you may even be in love with one, or married to one? The truth is that the answers to the challenge of dealing with a narcissist are actually not all that difficult to deal with, but you have to know what these methods are if you are to deal with one in your life. Knowledge, followed by implementation, or action, is power, not just knowledge alone. Knowledge, followed by acting on that knowledge, is the key to positive change.

And that's where I come in!

If you were to look at me today I may look normal. I may look ok. To look at me on the outside is to see a not so young anymore, very average looking guy, with a bit of a rough hewn edge to his face and maybe people might say I have a warm smile. But that's about it, nothing special or different. Just a normal routine guy.

You would not be able to see that I have been through a war. You could not tell I have been through times where every moment felt like a battlefield, heck was a battlefield or maybe a babble-filled with arguments strewn all over and a life that made about as much sense and was as coherent as a land fill site or a toxic waste dump. There is no way to tell that I have walked through frustration littered days with minefields of argument and breathed anger and angst filled air day after day.

But I have. That has been my life. It may be yours. It is probable that whatever situation you may be faced with right now, the likelihood of it having been as messed up, as fragmented, as frustrating, as outright demented and up chuck inducing as my reality the past eight years or so, is highly unlikely. Not impossible, of course, for clearly there exist situations that are messier and more frustrating and more perverted in circumstance than my own, but unlikely. I say that not to be dramatic but simply because it is true. The likelihood of a repeat of the circumstances I have been facing and have faced, in any life, is extremely small.

For I have lived with, loved, been married to, a narcissist, for eight years. It took me a while to figure it out, but I have learned that there are some simple ways of handling things, some simple strategies, techniques, and methods that will allow you to keep your sanity and move forward with your life and goals in a loving and happy manner, even though you may be stuck in a very difficult relationship with a person who has narcissistic personality disorder: with a narcissist.

This is a simple, straightforward, book that just tells you what you need to know about narcissism; how to deal with it in a manner that will keep you healthy, loving and strong; able to make the relationship decisions you need to make to have a fulfilling and love filled, happy life. This is a road map through the challenges that will be helpful to anybody who has ever had to deal with a self-involved or narcissistic individual on any level.

Whatever level you are at in dealing with the issues surrounding a narcissistic individual or individuals, let me walk with you and show you the way to get through the challenges in a healthy and life affirming way without blame or anger.

• Sales Rank: #525446 in eBooks
• Published on: 2013-12-21
• Released on: 2013-12-21
• Format: Kindle eBook

Most helpful customer reviews

49 of 50 people found the following review helpful.
Thorough, helpful, and knowledgeable book
By Amazon Customer
When I first bought this book I had the idea that it would give me some insight into NPD or narcissist personality disorder. It did that, but it also did much more. The writer speaks from the point of view of having survived a relationship with a person who has NPD, and, though he does not state as much, it seems that it may have been written just after the relationship ended in divorce. I say this because divorce is mentioned very early on in the book. This gives the book a sense of urgency and an authenticity which only adds value to the very recently gained insights it contains.

It is set up and organized as an action plan to take the reader through getting past the challenges in their relationship in a step by step manner. This is very useful for those in a challenging relationship as the writer is using his own proven effective step by step system to deal with a very personal and difficult challenge. This book would be a terrific and valuable read not only for those dealing with a self absorbed partner, but also for anybody looking at how to be more effective in working with those who seem to lack empathy or are overly concerned with themselves.

Reading this book made me realize and better understand that this type of difficulty, that of being overly self-absorbed, is often something that the person in question cannot really control and that it 'gets away from them', in a manner of of speaking. I now can think more open mindedly and fairly about the challenges faced by those afflicted with NPD, and realize this is a far more common disorder than I had originally thought.

The only real weakness is the lack of clinical data, and medical research, but since these are available readily on the Internet or from other written sources this is not critical.

This is a very valuable book that achieves its purpose of showing a positive and creative process for resolving what can be a very sticky and difficult relationship situation. I would highly recommend it to anybody facing the challenge of being with a narcissist, or anybody who has a friend in a like situation. It is also quite helpful in learning about the topic.

45 of 46 people found the following review helpful.
Love is a battlefield, but you can win the war with the narcissist in your life.
By Gregory Smith
I can tell that this book was written by a psychologist as opposed to the usual "you're OK, I'm OK, we're all OK" quacks one often sees. Narcissists are quite challenging because on one hand they have an inflated sense of self-worth and on the other hand, they can be very needy and very dependent on praise and affection, even when they don't deserve it. This book won't cure their narcissism but it might help your partner be more aware of the things he or she does, and it will give you strategies when it comes to fighting his tricks. For example, instead of getting mad and going in circles, you might respond an accusation like "yeah, I'm guilty of everything" with "is it possible you are trying to make me feel guilty hoping that we can maybe do it the way you want." Because as the author says, the narcissist is incapable of taking the long view and seeing the consequences because his view is myopic. Therefore, it is your duty to help him or her see things for what they are and not for what he thinks they should be. You will learn to respond instead of reacting, to take time off for yourself, and to save a relationship that chances are is worth saving. In fact, if you think dating a narcissist is bad, try dating one of those insecure Debbie downers that always feels bad, always feels depressed, rarely feels happy even when good things happen to her. In fact, maybe our attraction to narcissists comes from their initial self-confidence, even if it's a mask for other feelings, it can be a very convincing mask at times. Overall, I like the common-sense and easy to understand advice in this book. Oh, and for those who say "why can't I date someone normal," I have news for you, normal does not exist.

41 of 42 people found the following review helpful.
Very Helpful
By Danielle D.
I'll be honest, I did not understand narcissism before reading this book. I just thought it was an easy cop-out to be a selfish, self-absorbed individual.

Dr. Goodman opened my eyes. In this easy to read, no doctor talk book, Dr. Goodman covered the basics and then some. Speaking from personal experience Dr. Goodman knows first hand about dealing with a narcissistic loved one. I applaud Dr. Goodman for speaking out and helping others in a similar situation.

A very thorough book that easily explains narcissism and how to survive - or as you'll soon realize, not survive but really love and enjoy life.

Loving a narcissist is difficult, whether it's a spouse, a parent a child, or a friend, this book is filled with practical solutions and tips for helping you not just deal with a bad situation, but with advice on how to really make the most out of life.

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• Sales Rank: #2395232 in Books
• Binding: Paperback

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"The meaning and worth of love as a feeling is that it really forces us, with all our being, to acknowledge for another the same absolute significance that, because of the power of egoism, we are conscious of only in our own selves. Love is important, not only as one of our feelings but as the transfer of all our interest in life from ourselves to another, as the shifting of the very center of our lives....

"The meaning of human love, speaking generally, is the justification and salvation of individuality through the sacrifice of egoism. On this general basis we can also ... explain the meaning of sexual love" (Vladimir Solovyov) What is the meaning of love's intense emotion? Solovyov points to the spark of divinity that we see in another human being and shows how this "living ideal of Divine love, antecedent to our love, contains in itself the secret of the idealization of our love."

According to Solovyov, love between men and women has a key role to play in the mystical transfiguration of the world. Love, which allows one person to find unconditional completion in another, becomes an evolutionary strategy for overcoming cosmic disintegration.

• Sales Rank: #999336 in Books
• Brand: Brand: Lindisfarne Books
• Published on: 1985-10-01
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Dimensions: 8.50" h x .29" w x 5.51" l, .41 pounds
• Binding: Paperback
• 128 pages

Features

• Used Book in Good Condition

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26 of 26 people found the following review helpful.
A great read
By N. Wood
Soloviev, a brilliant Russian Orthodox philosopher of the late 19th century, covers a lot of ground in this little book. Love is held up as the shatterer of egoism and the means by which an individual becomes a bearer of the "all-unity" of the cosmos, gathering together all the elements of the world together within himself and thereby becoming an absolutely unique, absolutely irreplaceable, "absolutely significant" individual who transcends the laws of nature and triumphs over the forces of decay and death. For anyone who suspects that love is about more than just blind sexual instinct, or economics, or anything less than insight into the heart of reality, this book simply can't be passed up. Even if you end up not agreeing with everything here, you'll no doubt be moved by the beauty of the cosmic vision of love he presents.

23 of 24 people found the following review helpful.
Solovyov, transference and the Grail search.
By Charles G. Edwards
If you are searching for the Grail in the mystical experience of love and the transference, this is the book for you. The title says it all. Solovyov explores and uncovers the reason there is such archetypal emotional power in love even though the divine, cosmic source is not consciously recognized and understood. It is the failure to recognize the source behind the emotion which results in such tragic disillusion and despair. Finding the true source can be - should be life transforming.

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful.
yes!
By myriad eyes
So much beauty here. I love the point woven throughout the book, that the evolutionary development of rational self-consciousness - which is the precondition for egoism, the valuation of oneself as THE center of importance - was itself a precondition for the capacity to recognize (and justify with deeds) that same significance in others, i.e. to love. And that this rationality was more or less handed to us by nature, but that it has been left up to us whether or not we choose to love.

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[R426.Ebook] Free PDF The History of Violin Playing from Its Origins to 1761: and Its Relationship to the Violin and Violin Music (Clarendon Paperbacks), by Dav

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This volume presents a comprehensive history of violin performance against the background of the violin's evolution and the music written for it. Boyden focuses on the techniques of violin playing in centuries past, and discusses such practical questions as the development of bowing disciplines, the performance of staccato, the use of vibrato, the meaning of performing directions, the notation and performance of double stops, the rules of scordatura playing, and the sound of the violin in early times.

• Sales Rank: #309825 in Books
• Published on: 1990-04-26
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Dimensions: 9.19" h x 1.35" w x 6.19" l, 1.98 pounds
• Binding: Paperback
• 636 pages

Review
`Way back in 1965 Boyden's 'History' was a good buy at eight guineas and at today's values it is an outstanding bargain' Robert Lewin, Strad

`IThis book is the authoritative work on the history of violin playing up to the middle of the 18th century. ... essential reading for classical violinists and violin teachers ... it is a tribute to the scholarship of David Boyden that, 25 ... it remains a respected and valuable addition to one's library.' ISM Music Journal

About the Author
Musicologist and expert on string instruments, now deceased

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Are ghosts real? Wait — don't answer till you've read this book! These nine true tales from the spirit world are certain to give pause to even the firmest nonbelievers. Listen in on the moans, groans, and laughter of the wraiths who dwell in a French castle; meet the Horror of Berkeley Square, a demon that literally scares people to death; and encounter the specters of presidents and first ladies that continue to inhabit the White House.
Praised by The New York Times as "the dean of children's science writers," Seymour Simon is the author of more than 250 highly acclaimed science books. This illustrated collection of gripping ghost stories will captivate readers of all ages.

• Sales Rank: #1935607 in Books
• Published on: 2012-01-17
• Released on: 2011-12-20
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Dimensions: 8.70" h x .20" w x 7.40" l, .26 pounds
• Binding: Paperback
• 80 pages

About the Author
Praised by The New York Times as "the dean of children's science writers," Seymour Simon is the author of more than 250 highly acclaimed science books, many of which have been named Outstanding Science Trade Books for Children by the National Science Teachers Association.

5 Questions with Seymour Simon: An Exclusive Dover Interview
Mr. Simon was gracious enough to talk with us about his career as a teacher, his affiliation with the Smithsonian Institution, how humor can get children interested in science, and more.

You're a New York City native and a graduate of the Bronx High School of Science, so it sounds like you grew up in a highly urban setting. How and where did your formative experiences with nature take place?
I have loved nature since I was a young child. Although I grew up in the Bronx — a very crowded part of New York City — the natural world was all around me. There is weather in the city, just as there is in the country. You can see the sun, moon, and stars from a rooftop in the city. And I explored a vacant lot on my street, which wasn't exactly a park, but still had birds, earthworms, small plants, and trees. In fact, when I grew up, one of the first books I wrote was called Science in a Vacant Lot.

You were a science teacher for more than 20 years, and you've remarked that teaching is the best possible way to learn how to write for kids. Can you offer some examples of what your students have taught you?
I'm still a teacher and still a student too, for that matter. Students' interests range wide and deeply. They want to be treated with respect and have their questions answered and have you pay attention to their comments. I'm constantly writing in the same way that I think. There is a famous story that explains my writing too. The story goes that there is a teacher who is teaching a difficult subject and he can see by the expressions on his students' faces that they don't understand what he is teaching. So he teaches it a second time and he can see that they still don’t understand what he is teaching. So he teaches it a third time and finally…HE understands what he is teaching. That's how it goes with me. When I finally get it right, finally I understand what I'm writing and teaching.

Some of your books are authorized by the Smithsonian Institution, which is a highly prestigious endorsement for any science writer. How did your affiliation with them develop?
My publisher, HarperCollins made the arrangement with the Smithsonian Institution. What it meant for me is that I had an expert from the Smithsonian editing each of my books, which I am quite sure just made them better! It is indeed an honor to have my name associated with the Smithsonian.

Does your recreational interest in nature photography contribute to your work?
I am asked this a lot because there are so many photographs in my books. Sometimes I travel to places myself and take the photographs. I have photographed glaciers in Alaska, volcanoes in Hawaii, wildfires in California and weather in my backyard. Other times, I arrange to use other people's photographs. Often they are specialists — like a scientist who has been living in Antarctica and observing penguin behavior. Someone like that has photographs that I could never get in a single, short trip. I love nature photography, and have done many, many of my books as photo essays because I know that children love these photographs, too.

Some of your books — Body Sense, Body Nonsense, for example — take a playful look at scientific facts, so you must regard humor as a valuable tool in engaging young imaginations. What other approaches can parents and teachers take to get children interested in science and excited by the processes of observation and experimentation?
I created a document for teachers called "Writing Exciting Nonfiction." This details many different ways that a nonfiction author can engage young readers. Anyone can download this resource from www.seymoursimon.com.

Bonus Question!
Do you have a favorite Dover book?
I'm not sure if it is bad form to choose my own book, but I must say that I love Strange Mysteries. I wrote it many years ago, but today's kids are still fascinated by these mysterious, unsolved events.

Most helpful customer reviews

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
Fun, scary little book
By Rick
I first read this book when I was a kid in elementary school. I remember I lost the book, and my mother had to pay for it, but I sure loved the book, and I found it again, later and was glad that I got to keep it. It was fun and scary and I had a great time reading all of the true stories. Plus, many of the illustrations in the book were done by Stephen Gammell, of "Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark" fame. His illustrations are every bit as eerie and thought provoking in this book as in the Sacry Stories classics. Especially his illustration for the Berkeley Horror, a story that to this day, really stands out in my mind.

When I entered Junior High, we moved to another state, and I donated the book to my Junior High School. Boy did I wind up regretting that, so I was pleased to see that I could buy an old copy via Amazon's Market Place for a great price. Many of these old books are so very expensive. So I have recently purchased a copy of this book, and I have been having a great time reading it to my nieces, who LOVE it. I highly recommend this book. Its pretty old, but worth it. I wish it had never gone out of print.

0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Blast From the Past, Illustrated by Stephen Gammell!
By Amberizzle
I'd been looking forever for this book! Great stories, and REALLY terrifying stuff. What's so interesting to me is that the illustrations were provided by Stephen Gammell, the illustrator for the infamous "Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark" series, yet he's not credited anywhere in the actual book (though I see on the Amazon page he is). For shame, Dover Publishing!

0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Five Stars
By Vincent
Classic kids book with creepy illustrations.

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Barbecue: A History (The Meals Series), by Tim Miller

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Barbecue: A History examines barbecue's history and place in American society using both historical and contemporary sources. The book examines all aspects of barbecue:

• Outdoor grilling and traditional slow cooking
• Restaurant and home cooking
• International forms of barbecue
• The specific foods involved in a barbecue
• The concept of the barbecue as a gathering
• Historical and contemporary recipes for main and side dishes

Readers are treated here to a delightful and thorough history of barbecue, including its appearance in music, television, and film, and a consideration of how we think of and enjoy barbecue today.

• Sales Rank: #1727731 in Books
• Published on: 2014-08-07
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Dimensions: 9.30" h x .79" w x 6.29" l, .0 pounds
• Binding: Hardcover
• 210 pages

Review
Considerable research supports Miller’s examination of barbecue. It’s clear that his status as a historian along with his love of food (see his blog, Grog to Grits) make for a perfect combination. Indeed, he considers anything barbecue his province, from history and classic fare to restaurants, global variations, and barbecue in the arts and popular media. His presentation is chronological, thorough, and written for popular reading. Barbecue is tracked from just before (and after) Columbus’ discovery of America to its 1950s heyday. Although he doesn’t always follow standard recipe format–that is, ingredients, equipment, prep and cooking time, and instructions–Miller features a few directions with the caveat that the dish has not been tested for accuracy and taste. Any foodie will enjoy his foray into barbecue restaurants (seven in all, including Famous Dave’s) as well as his survey of world barbecue, which is about grilled meat rather than the sauces and rubs Americans are accustomed to. (Booklist)

In this, his first book, Miller explores a seemingly innocuous topic that is in fact steeped in so much lore and argument that even the definition of barbecue is hotly debated in some circles. This book, part of 'The Meals' series, outlines history, delves into cultural impacts, and also provides some recipes. . . .The opening pages explain that barbecue may be considered a food, a way of cooking, or a type of gathering. Miller addresses it as all three, thus massively increasing the book's scope. . . .[T]he author admirably describes barbecue from a sociological perspective, particularly its role in the segregated South where barbecue restaurants were one of the few places where races would mix. . . .Summing Up: Recommended. All undergraduate and culinary institute food history collections. (CHOICE)

Exploring the complexity of barbecue as a meal as well as a mode of outdoor cookery, Tim Miller marshals an array of sources into a lively culinary history that charts the diversity of an American fascination and its global connections. Describing in vivid detail the construction of barbecue pits and patios, preparation of meats that range from pork to armadillo, arrays of sauces and sides, great moments in barbecue history, and barbecue fandom and boosterism, Miller maps the barbecue landscape with enthusiasm and insight. Highlights include Miller’s commentary on the development and culture of barbecue restaurants, menus, competitions, cookbooks, and literature. In quest of an introduction to the history and culture of barbecue? Miller serves it up in style. (Bernard L. Herman, George B. Tindall Distinguished Professor of American Studies and Folklore, University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill)

Barbecue: A History is an engaging and comprehensive look at the curious twists and turns in the history of barbecue; it is particularly valuable for taking an international perspective. (Rachel Laudan, author of Cuisine and Empire: Cooking in World History)

Barbecue: A History is an immensely fun and informative book. Tracing the evolution of the word and the cuisine from its Native American origins to its international appeal today, Tim Miller is a winning guide to the foods, restaurants, and culture that make up the world of barbecue. Anyone who has ever sat down to a plate of ribs or thrown a steak on the grill will find something to love here. (Joshua Rothman, professor of history and African American studies; Director, Frances S. Summersell Center for the Study of the South, University of Alabama)

From Columbus at Guantanamo Bay to Reality TV, Tim Miller traces the entire history of what we call barbecue in all its meanings and flavors. No one has ever captured America’s greatest culinary tradition, its origins, influences, and recipes so completely in one volume. (Derrick Riches, barbecue and grilling expert, bbq.about.com)

Barbecue: A History examines barbecue's history and place in American society using both historical and contemporary sources. The book examines all aspects of barbecue, which includes both outdoor grilling and traditional slow cooking, from restaurants to home cooking, international forms of barbecue, the specific foods involved in a barbecue as well the concept of the barbecue as a gathering.

About the Author
Tim Miller is an associate professor of history at Labette Community College in Parsons, Kansas. He previously published an article on the history of barbecue in the Journal of American Culture. He writes about all aspects of American food history on his blog Grog to Grits.

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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
Fascinating Look at My Favorite Cuisine
By A.Trendl HungarianBookstore.com
Anyone remotely serious about BBQ has invariably watched one of those PBS series on grilling and BBQing and has learned a little of the history. This is particularly true of Steven Raichlen's shows. But when it comes to feeding that curiosity through books, mostly we consume tomes on technique and recipes. That's great -- gotta know the best way to smoke a large roast without drying it out or how to keep fish from falling apart.

Until now. Until Tim Miller's "Barbecue: A History (The Meals Series)." Miller's a historian, not a chef. While he obviously loves 'Q, he knows what a proper history is as well.

Miller gets through the types of barbecue, the American culture of it, and what BBQ is like globally. But he also has a strong focus on barbecue from the 1800s onward, when the American culture and industry really took off, from random stands to complete restaurants emphasizing some nuance of this great cuisine.

Particularly interesting are the stories behind known brands, like KC Masterpiece. A sauce was developed by a physician who sold it in Kansas City. The success led to a small, but growing chain of restaurants. Bad business decisions were made, fostered by a mix of ignorance of how to run a restaurant and family in-fighting, and now, today, there are no restaurants left. The sauce exists, of course, in several varieties. Miller tells the tale of Smokey Bones, Famous Dave's and others.

A fascinating read for the BBQ fan from start to finish. I fully recommend "Barbecue: A History (The Meals Series)" by Tim Miller.

Anthony Trendl
anthonytrendl.com

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James was born on October 22, 2007, with congenital cytomegalovirus, and was diagnosed with Spastic Quadriplegia Cerebral Palsy when he was one.

Journey with me, through the highs and the lows of raising a fully dependent, disabled child. What I have written is going to be uncomfortably honest. It is the thoughts that most of us keep hidden forever. The things we would never dare give voice to. Too many people are walking so alone. Too many people feel trapped and don’t know how to reach out.

Let me reach out to you. Step into a small piece of our world, and the hearts of so many families doing the very same thing. And I dare you not to fall in love with James by the end! Lets break down the walls that those with disabilities, and those raising them, feel trapped behind.

• Sales Rank: #1949750 in eBooks
• Published on: 2015-10-11
• Released on: 2015-10-11
• Format: Kindle eBook

About the Author
Dawn Patterson lives in Saskatchewan, Canada, with her husband John, and children Julia and James. When not taking care of James, she likes to spend her time being creative - quilting, drawing, painting, writing, baking - and works as a travel agent.

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0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
It touched my heart...
By BetsyB
I started reading this book and had to finish it the same evening. It is written so honestly regarding every aspect of Dawn's life and love for her son James. It is a must read for parents with a handicapped child as there is advice on everything from dealing with medical issues to practical tips about planning a Children's Wish trip. But this book is more than a support book (although it is that). It is a book we as people without handicapped children need to read to learn how to reach out and start a dialogue and create relationships with parents of handicapped children and their families. It touched my heart and changed how I think about reaching out to people--all people!

0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Dawn does an amazing job of writing in a way that is personal ...
By Carla
Dawn does an amazing job of writing in a way that is personal and relatable, even to those who have not had the honour of caring for a person with special needs. I have had the privilege of watching James a few times and I have experienced his contagious joy. He is a special boy and part of a special family. I encourage you to take the time to read this book written straight from the heart. It is so real and so beautiful.

0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Nothing but heart!
By Amazon Customer
An amazing read! It's completely captivating and hard to put down. It features a range of emotions from gut wrenching laughter to deep in your heart tears. A beautifully written story about a beautiful little boy. If you start, I guarantee you won't be able to stop!

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